Our Date Night

Last night Rick and I went on our first "date". We had an amazing time. I wasn't really sure at the beginning of our date if there was any hope of the night being a good experience for us at all. When he picked me up he had just left a long, bad day at work and I heard about it all the way to Lebanon. He even said that if I had been a "real" first day he would have blown me off because he had a ton of work to do that night to get ready for work the next day. So I told him that I appreciated him not blowing me off and made a concious decision at that point to NOT be offended by anything he said. If our night was going to be ANYTHING special I knew it was going to take effort on my part NOT to be easily hurt or offended.

The restaurant I chose is called the Madison Street Grill. It's a cute little hole-in-the-wall place that reminded me alot of the restaurants we used to go to on The Hill in St Louis. They're known for their steaks and Rick really enjoyed his. We had a little table in the corner of the restaurant, all to ourselves. Even tho he mostly complained about his new job, we did have some great conversation. I was finally able to turn the conversation to "us" and at that point the evening picked up.

Dating him is turning out to be more fun than I ever thought it could be. Suddenly his "stupid" decision has become the most fun I've had in years. We talked and we laughed and we teased. He was even 'flirty' and I don't know when the last time was that I saw THAT side of him! While I still want him at home, helping the kids with their homework, making Joey get in bed and stay there, and just being there for me to talk to and enjoy spending time with... I'm seeing that this time of dating may become one of the healthiest experiences in our marriage. He told me last night that picking me up for a date was so different to him from being there all day in the normal ins and outs of life and getting ready for a date together. He said it's like unwrapping a gift on Christmas morning when you don't know what's inside verses unwrapping one you purchased yourself. That simple analogy meant alot to me! For him to compare me to a special Christmas gift was really special to me. Of course, married life is not all excitement and surprises like Christmas morning. But sometimes we need to go back to that place and fall in love all over again. I think I captured a small piece of Rick's heart last night. He commented several times on the way I looked last night- and it was an amazing feeling to know that I had caught his eye. That hasn't happened in quite some time. Things like eye contact and body language were more apparent last night than they have been in years. There was awkwardness in sharing the armrest in his truck and the excitement of him taking my hand. And on the ride home came the pounding heart beat and the wondering "Will he kiss me goodnight?" (PS~ I don't kiss and tell! :-) )But all of that was fun. It felt new. There was no anger present. Just two people enjoying being together... and a hint of love.

By the end of the evening, neither one of us wanted it to end. I wanted so badly to beg him to stay- to come home for good. But I know it has to be in his timing. So I just told him how much I respected him for leading our marriage and making this choice to date again. I told him that whenever he's ready to take our relationship to the next step, I'll be ready to follow his lead. I know that he knows how hard it is for me to keep my mouth shut and just wait on him. I pray the wait isn't long- but I'd rather wait than miss a blessing like last night was.

The hardest part about last night was definitely saying goodbye. When we were teenagers we talked and dreamed about the day that we would be married and we wouldn't have to say 'goodbye' anymore. And yet I stood there with my husband, wanting to curl up in his arms and go to sleep, but I was saying 'goodbye' yet again. I have the same hope that I had when I was 18, tho... I have the hope that someday again soon I won't have to say 'goodbye' again.