Crash #1

I knew that the process of divorce would send me crashing a few times, despite an optomistic attitude and a hopeful heart. That's just the reality. It's amazing how quickly your attitude can change when you're tired, stressed, and your world's been turned upside down. Crash #1 has occured but I'm happy to report that there are no fatalities. Yesterday on Christmas Eve I headed into our 3-day-Christmas-celebration excited and "floating". Yes, yes, yes... you saw it coming. Crash! I guess it's to be expected. It's Christmas. Divorce stinks. There's nothing pretty about it. And trying to ignore how much it stinks does not make it stink any less. It is what it is. It stinks. Today was awkward to say the least. Rick and I have gotten along better in the past 24 hours than we have in ages. How do 2 people who get along so well end up in a divorce? I've never understood that. I still don't understand that? Why are we here? Today broke my heart because I saw how unneccessary our divorce really is. I see how incredibly happy we both could be... if he would just surrender to God.

Time to shake it off and go on with the day. Tomorrow's a new day and the day after that is another new day. New opportunities. New freedoms. New adventures. But I won't lie... today stinks.